+ This is good to read to remind ourselves on how to focus on what we want-۲
Know WHY you want it
This is crucial. In order to be fully committed, you must know, without
any doubt whatsoever, WHY you want what you want. Once you touch and
experience the true, deeply-imbedded "why" of what you want, it will start
Most people just give lip service to their desires, without examining why
they want them in the first place. Often when we look at the reasons why
we want something, we realize that we don't really, truly want it.
Failure to consider the "why" of your desires, will result in a tremendous
amount of wasted energy, spent striving for things which you really don't
want, and which if you manage to achieve them, will leave you
disillusioned and unfulfilled.
So how do you determine why you want something? It's simple. Just ask
yourself, and keep asking until you get a meaningful answer.
Often times, by asking why, you'll discover that what you thought you
wanted is only a shallow token of what you really want. And, more
importantly, you'll often find that what you really want is more readily
available to you than what you thought you wanted.
For example, Ron was a stockbroker in Atlanta who wanted to buy an
expensive gold watch. In order to commit himself to doing what was
necessary to get the gold watch, Ron asked himself why he wanted it in the
first place. The answer -- so he could impress his clients and the other
brokers in the office, and so he would be recognized as successful. He
realized that what he really wanted was not the watch, but the respect and
recognition of others.
So, rather than focusing on the gold watch, he went to work on improving
his performance as a stockbroker. And that earned him the respect and
recognition of others. He went right to the heart of the matter, and cut
out the "middleman" (in this case a gold watch) to get what he really
In asking why, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Don't accept
a lame answer, such as "because that's what everybody else has" or
"because that's what my family expects of me." Find a real, solid,
gut-level reason why YOU want what you want. Keep digging until you get
there. Keep asking why until you uncover a reason that is so compelling
and so much a part of you that you cannot deny it. This can be emotionally
draining, and at the same time powerful and refreshing. It will make a
crucial difference in the effective pursuit of your goals, and in the
degree to which you experience joy and fulfillment in your life. Find a
reason why. It's there. And it will make an enormous difference.
Write it down
There is something magical about committing your goals to paper. We think
thousands of thoughts each day. Most of them pass right by, never to
return again. Just the act of putting something in writing, gives it a
kind of superiority over all the other things we think about. Taking the
trouble to make a written record, whether it is with pen and paper or
keyboard and word processor, is a significant commitment, the first
deliberate step on the path to achievement of your goal.
Putting your goals in writing, in tangible physical form, also serves to
provide you with a permanent reminder of what you're working to
accomplish. The act of writing your goals is so powerful, that even if you
just wrote them down and hid them away, the likelihood of achieving those
goals would increase considerably. But don't hide them away. Keep them in
front of you, prominently displayed, and they will happen for you.
When you write your goal, state it positively and in the present tense.
For example, instead of writing "I'm going to stop smoking" say "I enjoy
breathing fresh, smoke-free air". Goals which are stated negatively, can
have the opposite effect of what's intended. If you constantly said to
yourself "stop smoking, stop smoking, stop smoking" your mind focuses on
"smoking, smoking, smoking." It is impossible to even consider the phrase
"stop smoking" without first visualizing yourself smoking. Negatively
stated goals will sabotage your efforts. Find a way to state them
Similarly, goals stated in the future tense "I'm going to" or "I will" or
"I plan to" run the risk of never getting accomplished. In order to
achieve what you want you must first see yourself, without any doubt in
your mind, achieving it. To reach your goal, you must first become the
person who is capable of reaching it. The more you can see yourself as
actually having it, the closer it is. In fact, when you are completely
convinced that you will achieve it, in a very real sense you already have
it. So state your goals in the present tense, as if they are already
happening, because they are.